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Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Sending Money to Family in the Philippines. Good or Bad?

We Filipinos know that when you work abroad or married with somebody from outside the country, your family back home expects you to send money to them every month. But do you think helping them financially is good for them?

I heard a lot of stories about people I know here who send money to their family back home to help but the result is not good. Why? Because the family back home spend the money as fast as they could and ask for more when they run out. Only a few use the money wisely and invest in a money making business so they won't depend on the person working abroad forever. I appreciate those who ask help and help themselves also coz in the future I know they will succeed as long as they won't give up easily and work hard to reach their goal. We know that temptations are just around the corner but it's up to us if we discipline ourselves not to be tempted. Good for those who know how to spend the money wisely but for some, it gives them a problem.

Like for example, a cousin of mine got married with a white guy. Her family was doing okay before she met her husband but after they got married, her family's wants becomes unreachable. They always complain that the money she sent is not enough because their wants becomes expensive and they spend like they will never run out of money.

Another thing happen which is shocking to me is when one of her family was sick which needs immediate attention and care. She was sending money to one of the family members for the medications but the one who received the money keeps on complaining that the money she sent is not enough. My cousin was confused coz they already calculate how much it cost. Until one day, another family member found out that the one who received the money for the medications was hiding the medicines somewhere in their house and won't give the medicine to the sick family member so my cousin will send money again. Sounds like a rip off right? I know what you think, it's one of a kind situation but when greed runs to the blood, it's toxic and poisons the mind.

And another friend of mine here was building a house for her parents in the Philippines so she's sending money to her trusted Aunt in there. When she went home to visit her family again, the house is not finish yet and her Aunt gave her a thick log book. It’s a long list of the individuals who borrowed money using my friend's money that she sent for the house. My friend didn't know if those people who borrowed money from her Aunt returned the money back. She also didn't know if it's true or not. She just keep quiet and ignores it as if nothing happen to not spoil her vacation while she's there. After that, she cancelled her joint bank account with her Aunt and didn't trust anybody anymore even her family.

It's so sad that there are people back home whom you think loves you are ripping you off and ungrateful of the gifts you send because they want more (maybe all your money). They should be happy of what they got and be satisfied of the things they receive.

I did learn something just by hearing these kind of stories from friends and relatives and I can say that sending money to family members in the Philippines who has a job is not necessary coz it will only make them lame and lazy to work. Unless you have a lot of money and don't know what to do with it then share it to others like me. haha


Ilocana said...

To me, it really depends on what kind of mentality the person has of whom you sent the money. If the person is trustworthy and his/her motives are good, then it's GOOD, but if the person/s is selfish and always demands money, then it's BAD. Yeah, I had to learn that on the hard way.

monica said...

was here!!! how are you? have a good night! :)

NovaS said...

i'm sure that's not really a good idea, your tolerating your family or maybe some of the family members. i'm glad i was not obliged to sent money to my family way back home but instead of sending money, i gave them gifts for xmas.

Lynn said...

this is not new to me anymore, sis since i've heard several stories about this na. there are people talaga who have this thinking na pag nasa amerika, maraming pera since dollar ang kita. what they didn't realize was, dollar din naman ang expenses. lam mo na, dami talagang makikitid ang utak diyan. feeling siguro nila ginapiko, ginapal kwarta sa US ba. har. haay na lang! tarat ba? LOL.

momgen said...

hmm that also makes me think. That is why I am not sending all the time because I realized para bang inisip nila mayaman na kung nandito na sa US. Ako nga palaging send ng money sa mama ko pero minsan si papa ask if how much did i send them kasi hindi niya alam. Ang kapatid ko pala ang nagkeep ng money nako tapos ayaw ko pa naman sa kanya kasi bungangera. nako talaga buhay nagpadala ako para repair sa bahay hanggang ngayon bahay namin bulok tingnan pagod na talaga ako ahhahahha. Na sige paminsan wag na padalhan ng pera or never. think... think.. think....

Michelle said...

Ilocana: It takes time to learn something but what matters the most is you know what to do next time. :)

Monica: I'm ok.

NovaS: Lucky you that your family didn't tell you that it's your obligation to give/send money to them once you're here in US. I appreciate that type of family. :)

Lynn: You're right there sistah. People here earn dollars and spend in dollars also. Kuyaw man diha sa ato kay mo convert man dretso kung pila in pesos ang income diri if they know how much you make then gusto naa sila share as if naa silay gi invest. hehe Basin nagtuo ang uban nga walay gastoanan ang mga taw diri. haha

momgen: sorry to hear about that. di talaga lahat na membro ng pamilya natin mapagkatiwalaan kaya mag ingat. di ko na gets kung bakit kapatid mo ang nag keep ng pera eh sa iyong mama ka naman nagpadala. ang masabi ko lang is kung may relatives ka na mapagkatiwalaan eh dun mo na lang ipadala ang pera. yan ang ginawa ng ibang mga pinay dito na walang tiwala o niloko sa kanilang pamilya.

PinayWAHM said...

Simple lang ang reasoning when it comes to this: People will take advantage of you if let them. That's why I don't really feel bad for those who have some horror stories about 'padala' kasi they brought it on to themselves when they let other people take advantage of them.

Another thing I believe in. Hindi ako nagpapahiram ng pera lalo na sa family. I give them what I can and that's it. Kasi sama lang ng loob pag hindi nabayaran so I try to spare myself from that.

Musta ang pregnancy Mitch? Ilang months pa ba?

Hope all's well...

Mommy J